“Well, I have heard all you said. What your son is doing is good but not done right. From what you said it seems they married recently and it’s very possible that they feel it’s too early to be bothered. In short they want to be alone.
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Whenever you want to do something good for newly weds it’s wise to ask them first in regards to the food stuffs and cooked food you were sending over to them.
Do you know that the things you have been sending might have been making his wife feel you don’t trust her to take good care of your son? Do you know she might have been seeing your gifts as a means of trying to control her home?
It’s true you were doing it with good intentions but it’s a wise thing to ask them first to avoid assumptions and jumping to conclusions.
Again, I feel she refused to help your younger son because she might have thought she was been taken advantage of. I have observed that Young New wives always want respect accorded to them. They hate it when they are been forced to be loyal. Love her, respect her decisions, give her space and she’d be loyal to you more than you can ever imagine.
It’s a sure fact that by default new wives are always very careful with mother in laws so they don’t get taken for granted.
I would also want to draw your attention to the manner of approach of your younger son when asking her for help or talking to her. It’s possible that he may have been acting “IT’S MY BROTHER’S HOUSE....YOU ARE OUR WIFE....”
Finally, it’s good to be friendly with your daughter in law but please allow the relationship to grow over time with mutual respect.” She ended.
Trust me, I didn’t like her advice but I just decided to follow it since I didn’t have any thing in mind to do about the situation. That same day I called my younger son and spoke to him to respect and honor his senior brother’s wife like his elder sister.
From that day I formed the habit of always seeking her opinion before sending things to them. And every time I wante to send them things She always made me reduce the items I intended to send and always never hesitated to send the lion share of the money to purchase them. She often appreciated me for saving her from the stress of going to market and have happily invited me over a couple of times to spend time with them. Aside that she now flows well with my younger son.
After following that lady’s advice and after seeing its results I had a personal observation that I’d love to share....
“Indeed when a man marries, he leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife. His wife is automatically in control. Never be offended because he is still your son. Just sincerely embrace his wife with respect and she’ll loose him for you but whenever she senses a threat to her authority and right, she’ll hold him back.”
I am glad I have my son back to care for me but not for me to control him. I only suggest and respect with everything in me, his wife’s decisions whether good or bad because I know and honor her as the mother of his home. Thank you!
THE END
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